A coaching client and friend wrote me after I helped her into some inquiry about problems she was having in her karate dojo. Emancipate yourself from the voices running the critic circuit. How? I found the aha moment reading Viktor Frankl's Man Search for Meaning and having someone I trusted to listen to me. Misperceptions are at the root of a lot of suffering. So I'm sharing these notes since the experience of judging others and causing yourself suffering is universal: Thank you Tim, You always have such good reminders and resources to share. You are a fountain of wisdom and love.
What I realize about Sensei is that it's me who "needs" to look at myself and my annoyance with his prattling in the dojo. He is doing what he does and I get to feel my judgement and experience my inner eye rolls every time he talks more than I think he should. Funny thing though, because ever since I've come around to my own self inquiry around Sensei's over talking, he's somehow stopped doing it and instead is briefly giving instructions, doing appropriate demonstrations and then getting out of the way.
Because I'm the only one now working on my black belt grading, I go to a separate area with a senior black belt student to train with me, while the rest of the class of "colored belts" practices their katas and techniques. Sensei comes over periodically to watch me or correct, then tells me, "Good!" and walks away. It's a delightful miracle. And the real miracle is that I am the one who is choosing a different perspective. I just decided to accept him as he is and give him my attention and respect. What a concept! :)
Reading suggestions: Anthony De Mello's The Way to Love